Not a Fan - Chapters 12, 13 & 14

Well ladies, we've done it.  We've finished reading the book.  But before we put it on a bookshelf, let's take time to consider the final three chapters.  Our contributor this week is Kandi Tucker.  And if you don't know Kandi, you're new.  I type that with a smile because Kandi is probably the most welcoming person I've met at church.  Thus, she is very well-known.  Kandi makes every possible effort to ensure that each person she meets is included and loved.  She remembers people's names, she invites them to get involved, she checks in when no else is checking, she serves when no one knows she's serving.  Kandi loves on so many of us, and she is very much loved by us in return.  So if you haven't "met" her already, you are long overdue.  I am happy to introduce Kandi:  

“What would your life look like if you followed Jesus completely?  No excuses.  Wherever. Whenever. Whatever.”This sentence pretty much summed up Not a Fan to me.  Let me begin by giving a quick definition of the wherever, whenever, and whatever:

1. Wherever – Following Jesus out of our comfort level.  Kyle asks, “Where is the one place that you find most difficult to follow Jesus?”

1. Whenever – Immediate obedience. Following Jesus
right now!  No excuses!

1. Whatever – Giving Jesus every part of my life.  Making Jesus the only priority of my life.

Am I the only one a bit intimidated by this list when it’s laid out in black and white?!?!  No excuses?  What about my kids waking up at all hours of the night so I’m too tired to pick up my Bible in the morning…  What about letting other people reach out to that person that I don’t seem to have much in common with…  What about those hours I spend on the computer each night…  I can’t speak for anyone else, but my life certainly needed this reminder by Kyle to follow Jesus completely.  Let me start by giving anyone reading this a little history. 

I grew up in the jungle in Asia with parents who gave up material and relational comforts to serve God.  Two of my siblings currently live in extremely uncomfortable environments touching lives for Jesus in Southeast Asia.  In my mind, following Jesus meant some type of direct ministry or a huge sacrifice of comfort and family.  Thus, for years I’ve battled guilt for my materially comfortable existence, living the “American Dream.”  Oh, I’ve been able to go on some fantastic vacations and buy some beautiful clothes for my kids, but it would all seem meaningless afterwards. It was all so superficial and empty to my heart that wanted to do bigger and better things.   At the same time, I felt so helpless since I didn’t know how to change anything.  I couldn’t exactly leave my kids to go on a missions trip for a week or open my home to foster children without my husband’s blessing.  To solve this battle in my heart, I just kept telling myself that I would do it all later when my kids were older. 

God has used the past year to show me that while I was always thinking big and looking ahead to what I could do for God in the future, I was neglecting following Jesus completely in my day-to-day existence. God cared about what I was doing with my time today and about how close of a relationship we had with each other.  He has used a variety of events and people to show me that living here in New Jersey with my little family cleaning bathrooms and teaching my children to love Jesus has value to Him.  In the process, I’ve discovered that dying to my ambitions and choosing to live a life devoted to Jesus each and every day isn’t easy. However, God has given me so much peace, joy, and contentment in my current circumstances that I know He will continue to do so in the future.  This is why I was challenged by these last three chapters.  Once again, they forced me to examine my personal relationship with Jesus and whether I could honestly say that I am following Jesus completely today.  Not tomorrow or the next year, but today! 

I think it would be encouraging for those reading this post to share our wherever, whenever, and whatever’s with each other.  How are you, right now, stepping out of your comfort zone by making Jesus the ONLY priority of your life?  Here are a few of mine: 

-Picking up my Bible to read instead of the computer.-Turning off the television to pray-Serving my family without consideration of whether I am being served in return.-Continuing to pursue relationships with women in my community without fear of rejection.-Choosing to remain content daily with the distance that we live from family.-Rather than purchasing the latest fad, use my money to bless other people. 

These are all things I’m currently working on with some days containing more victory than others.  Don’t they all sound so basic?!?!  Whew!  I’m thankful today that I can be a slave to Jesus even while living this simple life that he has put before me.  

Okay, ladies, so this is our final "Not a Fan" blog question.  How are you, right now, stepping out of your comfort zone by making Jesus the ONLY priority in your life?  Boom!  I guess Kandi didn't want to let us off easy on our final question, huh?  Ha - but no, in all seriousness, let's consider this.  How are we stepping out of our comfort zones RIGHT NOW?  Don't wimp out on us now.  Let's hear it!  

And thanks for a great book study, everyone - it's been fun :)  xo!

Not a Fan - Chapters 10 & 11

Welcome back ladies.  I can't believe we are so close to the end of our book study!  Our contributor this week is Stephanie Brunges.  For many of you, this is a new name, so I am very happy to have the privilege of introducing you to Stephanie this week.  Stephanie's story is so exciting because it's one in which you can striaght-up see God at work.  As Stephanie shares today, God has used so many things in her life to continually draw her to Himself.  Stephanie's desire to grow in her relationship with the Lord, her freedom to be honest, her security through vulnerability, her willingness to serve, her desire to learn - all of this is a testimony to the work of the Most High.  So let's give God glory for what He's doing in Stephanie's life, and in all of our lives, as we consider together the truths Stephanie shares here:

Deny – a total surrender.  Wow, now I know why my faith faltered in high school.  I think at some point in all of our lives we have been selfish.  While I wasn’t a cruel person I always lived for myself.  If someone gave me the choice to follow Jesus or keep my stuff, I was totally keeping my stuff.  In hind sight I really didn’t have much.  But I was broken, my mom was diagnosed with cancer and my step brother went to jail.  So after that I denied myself nothing.  As Kyle said I called myself a Christian but I wasn’t following Christ. But isn’t it amazing how there is some spark, something that makes you open your eyes and say “I was wrong, God hasn’t given me more than I can handle.”  Because of my challenges I have grown to the person I am today.    

Out of sin came my best blessing, it was Christ’s way of calling me back to him.  I really struggled with what to write, (prayed a lot on this one) but I figured it would be better to be honest.  My husband and I were engaged when I found out I was pregnant with Aiden.  Telling my father was the worst part.  He had just suffered his 3^rd heart attack and I honestly thought this would kill him.  He looked at me and said, “I never thought I would live to see grandchildren.”  As I sat there crying he told me I had to turn my life around, I could no longer be selfish.  Four years later my son looks at me and says “Mom, I want to go to God’s place,” how could I deny him that?  I have thrown myself into Bible study, children’s bibles, books and pod casts.  While it is hard to deny everything in my life (still a work in progress) I have never been happier.   We think that by denying ourselves we will miss out, but just the opposite is true. 

Aiden went to church with a friend of mine on Sunday and he asked me afterwards what sacrifice meant.  I looked it up on the internet and tried to “kid it down” a bit, I told him to sacrifice something was to deny yourself something desired or wanted for the greater good.  He looks over at me and says “so if Riley cries that he wants my Legos, I should just give them to him because it will make him happy and he will stop crying?” I thought it was a good analogy for a 5 year old; ok he seemed to get it.  Then Aiden looks up at me and starts crying but they are my Legos!!!!  It is hard for anyone to make sacrifices.  I pulled a couple questions off the computer that I thought were pretty good. Do you compartmentalize what you give God access to?  Do you refuse to deny yourself from certain worldly things?  

I am actually re reading chapter 11 just to absorb as much as I can.  I have tossed and turned trying to figure out for myself what to die daily actually means.  I am sure there is so much more to it but I came up with this; To die daily, then, is to hold this world with a loose hand and to look upon worldly things, as frivolous joys.  

Wow.  So, Stephanie has made some great observations and has asked some really good questions - hasn't she?  Do you compartmentalize what you give God access to?  Do you refuse to deny yourself from certain worldly things?   Or how about this - what does dying daily actually look like in your life?  As you consider these questions, and other things God is teaching you, take time to make a responsive comment.  Then check back throughout the week to read other members comments and questions.

This week (our LAST week!) we'll be reading the final three chapters of the book: Chapters 12, 13 & 14.  Then, next Wednesday, June 20th, we'll hear from our final blog contributor, Kandi Tucker.

We will also be meeting together for a closing meeting at 9 am on June 20th at Kathy Cortner's home.  Please plan to attend this meeting (even if you didn't attend our introduction meeting, even if you weren't able to post comments every week, and even if you haven't completed the book yet).  I hope to see all of you there!

Childcare for this meeting will again be provided.  But please note, if you plan to attend with children, please e-mail me right away with the names and ages of the children who will need care.  Since schools are letting out for summer break, we want to make sure we have enough childcare on the 20th.

Okay, so that's it (for now)!  Let's get back to our reading this week in Chapters 10 & 11.  Recall again the questions Stephanie posed, and those things that God is teaching you.  Thoughts?  Questions?  Challenges?  Encouragement?  Go!

Not a Fan - Chapters 8 & 9

Have you ever met someone you just connected with right off?  Laura Camp is one of those people in my life.  I just really like her.  She is one of the most intelligent and talented people that I know.  But that’s not why she has my heart.  From day one, Laura has kept it real with me.  Sure, she has got it going on, but she is a real woman with real struggles, and she’s not afraid to be real about them.  And my favorite part?  She loves Jesus.  Ahhhhhh.  That is like a breath of fresh air, isn’t it?  So breathe deep sisters.  Laura has something to say...

Anyone means Everyone 

In Chapter 8, Kyle went back and forth between his daughter Morgan’s nail polish stain story and that of Matthew the tax collector.  I loved seeing these stories side by side. He writes: 

Most of us are hiding some stains. Our worst fear is that someone will flip the cushion over and discover what we’ve tried to hide.  

                                          *** 

Morgan asked, “Do you still love me?” My wife knelt down beside her on the floor, and she whispered to our daughter, “Morgan, you could never make a big enough stain to keep me from loving you.” I wish I could tell you that somehow we were able to get the stain out and make the couch white again . . .  but that stain is still there.  It will always be there. But a funny thing happened.  Morgan started telling the story of the stained white couch.  She liked to show people the stain and tell them what happened. Why?  Because a stain that once represented shame and guilt and fear of rejection, now represents love grace and acceptance.” 

Wow.  What a beautiful story.  What if we were to rejoice in our stains and the grace and forgiveness we received like Morgan did with her stained cushion?  . . .  The way that Matthew – the tax collector – did?  What would that look like in the church of 2012?  How would we act differently if our stains – that once represented shame, guilt, and fear of rejection – now represented love grace and acceptance? 

I grew up in a Christian home and accepted Christ as my Savior at a young age.  But I have stains.  We all do.  Maybe we hesitate to share our junk because we still feel plagued by it at times.  We can’t celebrate the victory from sin and the forgiveness from the “stain” because we don’t feel victory yet – we are still struggling.  Maybe we fear that if anyone knew our “stain,” it would discredit us in our ministry, that we would in some way make God look bad – de-fame the name of Christ.   

But it is actually quite the opposite.  When I hear another sister tell her story, when I hear her struggles, when I hear how God is growing her and teaching her, I am drawn TO her as a friend and fall more in love with our Great God.  I think, “Thank God that I am not the only one struggling!”  

I was so encouraged by Bill and Brenda Antinore from Seeds of Hope who came to speak at Bethel this past Sunday.  What a powerful testimony!  I loved how they kept saying “this is the best part” and then went on to describe what God saved them from – drug addictions, theft, jail time, failing marriage.  They dealt with the “biggies,” and I was so incredibly BLESSED and moved by their desire to be transparent – for God’s Glory!  (If you missed Sunday or want to learn more about the great work they are doing in Camden . . . check out their website www.seedsofhopeministries.org ) 

If we as women were brave enough to let down our walls; to confess our sins one to another (James 5:16 ); to pray continually for one another  (I Thess. 5:17);   I think our worlds would be ROCKED, our community turned upside-down; and our passion for Christ ever DEEPENED. 

Which brings us to chapter 9. Come after me – a passionate pursuit.  Kyle writes, “So what do you do if you’re a fan who wants to be a follower but your heart just  isn’t in it? You want to come after Christ with a passionate pursuit, but the truth is you feel apathetic and indifferent. You don’t want to feel that way, but you do.”

I mentioned earlier that I grew up in a Christian home.  I believed God at a young age and have always desired to serve Him and live for Him.  However, I have never known any other way.  I am challenged reading this book because I can almost more readily relate with the Sadducees and Pharisees and their desire to study and follow the law then I can relate to someone whose world has been rescued from sexual sin, or drug addiction, or illegal pursuits . . .you know, the “biggies” etc.  I feel like my stains are more like that of the Pharisees – and Jesus did not speak too kindly or deal too gently with them.   

But I have struggled (even very recently) with what Kyle describes above.  Spiritual acedia.  “Losing that loving feeling.”  Apathy.  I find it hard to remember what it felt like when I first came to Christ because I was 5! I don’t remember much about last week . . . let alone Kindergarten!  I struggle to feel the freedom to admit that the passion isn’t always there. I fear I will be judged.  I fear my struggle will discredit the music ministry God wants to do at Bethel.  I feel no one will believe me and will always wonder if I am dealing with a “dry spell.” I fear I will be an embarrassment.    Bottom line – I fear man.   

So, I am bravely stepping out in faith and making a bold move of bragging about my stain so that God will be glorified.  I have struggled to “feel” connected to God.  Sometimes I feel more connected to my kids’ schedules, my “to-do” list, to the family’s responsibilities, etc.   

But I know this.  God is bringing me out of the apathy.  He is faithfully showing himself to me.  He is making me aware of His constant pursuit of me.  He is awakening my heart in worship.  He is drawing me to His Word in a fresh way.  His is igniting in me a DESIRE to pray.  I am falling more in love with Him . . . and I am so thankful.  I pray it continues.  I know it will.  Because . . . “He who began a good work in me will be faithful to complete it.” (Phil 1:6) 

So Ladies, let’s continue to be real with one another.  I have loved this blog format.  I pray that we will continue to “come after” Christ in a passionate and real way.  We are all works in progress, but all the more glory to God!  He is working in great ways – making us more like Him!

Well said!  Let's continue to be real.  Reflect on what God is teaching you, and post your own comment.  Again, this can be in response to something Laura wrote, something else you read in Chapters 8 & 9, a question, an encouragement to another member, anything you like.  Whatever you want to write, I hope you feel freedom to write it.  You are loved here.  

Next, we'll be reading Chapters 10 & 11.  Be sure to check back throughout the week to read and respond to other members' comments and questions.  Then check back again next Wednesday to hear from our next contributor, Stephanie Brunges!