Not a Fan - Chapters 8 & 9

Have you ever met someone you just connected with right off?  Laura Camp is one of those people in my life.  I just really like her.  She is one of the most intelligent and talented people that I know.  But that’s not why she has my heart.  From day one, Laura has kept it real with me.  Sure, she has got it going on, but she is a real woman with real struggles, and she’s not afraid to be real about them.  And my favorite part?  She loves Jesus.  Ahhhhhh.  That is like a breath of fresh air, isn’t it?  So breathe deep sisters.  Laura has something to say...

Anyone means Everyone 

In Chapter 8, Kyle went back and forth between his daughter Morgan’s nail polish stain story and that of Matthew the tax collector.  I loved seeing these stories side by side. He writes: 

Most of us are hiding some stains. Our worst fear is that someone will flip the cushion over and discover what we’ve tried to hide.  

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Morgan asked, “Do you still love me?” My wife knelt down beside her on the floor, and she whispered to our daughter, “Morgan, you could never make a big enough stain to keep me from loving you.” I wish I could tell you that somehow we were able to get the stain out and make the couch white again . . .  but that stain is still there.  It will always be there. But a funny thing happened.  Morgan started telling the story of the stained white couch.  She liked to show people the stain and tell them what happened. Why?  Because a stain that once represented shame and guilt and fear of rejection, now represents love grace and acceptance.” 

Wow.  What a beautiful story.  What if we were to rejoice in our stains and the grace and forgiveness we received like Morgan did with her stained cushion?  . . .  The way that Matthew – the tax collector – did?  What would that look like in the church of 2012?  How would we act differently if our stains – that once represented shame, guilt, and fear of rejection – now represented love grace and acceptance? 

I grew up in a Christian home and accepted Christ as my Savior at a young age.  But I have stains.  We all do.  Maybe we hesitate to share our junk because we still feel plagued by it at times.  We can’t celebrate the victory from sin and the forgiveness from the “stain” because we don’t feel victory yet – we are still struggling.  Maybe we fear that if anyone knew our “stain,” it would discredit us in our ministry, that we would in some way make God look bad – de-fame the name of Christ.   

But it is actually quite the opposite.  When I hear another sister tell her story, when I hear her struggles, when I hear how God is growing her and teaching her, I am drawn TO her as a friend and fall more in love with our Great God.  I think, “Thank God that I am not the only one struggling!”  

I was so encouraged by Bill and Brenda Antinore from Seeds of Hope who came to speak at Bethel this past Sunday.  What a powerful testimony!  I loved how they kept saying “this is the best part” and then went on to describe what God saved them from – drug addictions, theft, jail time, failing marriage.  They dealt with the “biggies,” and I was so incredibly BLESSED and moved by their desire to be transparent – for God’s Glory!  (If you missed Sunday or want to learn more about the great work they are doing in Camden . . . check out their website www.seedsofhopeministries.org ) 

If we as women were brave enough to let down our walls; to confess our sins one to another (James 5:16 ); to pray continually for one another  (I Thess. 5:17);   I think our worlds would be ROCKED, our community turned upside-down; and our passion for Christ ever DEEPENED. 

Which brings us to chapter 9. Come after me – a passionate pursuit.  Kyle writes, “So what do you do if you’re a fan who wants to be a follower but your heart just  isn’t in it? You want to come after Christ with a passionate pursuit, but the truth is you feel apathetic and indifferent. You don’t want to feel that way, but you do.”

I mentioned earlier that I grew up in a Christian home.  I believed God at a young age and have always desired to serve Him and live for Him.  However, I have never known any other way.  I am challenged reading this book because I can almost more readily relate with the Sadducees and Pharisees and their desire to study and follow the law then I can relate to someone whose world has been rescued from sexual sin, or drug addiction, or illegal pursuits . . .you know, the “biggies” etc.  I feel like my stains are more like that of the Pharisees – and Jesus did not speak too kindly or deal too gently with them.   

But I have struggled (even very recently) with what Kyle describes above.  Spiritual acedia.  “Losing that loving feeling.”  Apathy.  I find it hard to remember what it felt like when I first came to Christ because I was 5! I don’t remember much about last week . . . let alone Kindergarten!  I struggle to feel the freedom to admit that the passion isn’t always there. I fear I will be judged.  I fear my struggle will discredit the music ministry God wants to do at Bethel.  I feel no one will believe me and will always wonder if I am dealing with a “dry spell.” I fear I will be an embarrassment.    Bottom line – I fear man.   

So, I am bravely stepping out in faith and making a bold move of bragging about my stain so that God will be glorified.  I have struggled to “feel” connected to God.  Sometimes I feel more connected to my kids’ schedules, my “to-do” list, to the family’s responsibilities, etc.   

But I know this.  God is bringing me out of the apathy.  He is faithfully showing himself to me.  He is making me aware of His constant pursuit of me.  He is awakening my heart in worship.  He is drawing me to His Word in a fresh way.  His is igniting in me a DESIRE to pray.  I am falling more in love with Him . . . and I am so thankful.  I pray it continues.  I know it will.  Because . . . “He who began a good work in me will be faithful to complete it.” (Phil 1:6) 

So Ladies, let’s continue to be real with one another.  I have loved this blog format.  I pray that we will continue to “come after” Christ in a passionate and real way.  We are all works in progress, but all the more glory to God!  He is working in great ways – making us more like Him!

Well said!  Let's continue to be real.  Reflect on what God is teaching you, and post your own comment.  Again, this can be in response to something Laura wrote, something else you read in Chapters 8 & 9, a question, an encouragement to another member, anything you like.  Whatever you want to write, I hope you feel freedom to write it.  You are loved here.  

Next, we'll be reading Chapters 10 & 11.  Be sure to check back throughout the week to read and respond to other members' comments and questions.  Then check back again next Wednesday to hear from our next contributor, Stephanie Brunges!